Ok, I have been pretty lazy lately, I haven’t written here for ages. Sorry about this. I have found that in this country you tend to have mood swings every other day. Sometimes you just feel you are having the time of your life, and sometimes the only thing you want to do is take the first plane to Europe (aka the land of sanity).

Two weeks ago, I got some kind of eye infection: I woke up one morning and I looked like someone who had smoked far too much weed. I went to the ophthalmologist, he gave me eye drops and I was requested not to wear my lenses for a week. As you can imagine, I was so happy to wear my glasses again! Not to mention the fact that I had to wear them over my rabbit eyes... Great, what an attractive sight! I spent the week hiding in my classroom, looking down at my feet when walking in the street and hoping no one would recognise me or notice the change... Wishful thinking! After a week of humiliation and bullying from good-sighted people, I woke up last Sunday with alright-looking eyes. At last, I was able to wear my lenses again and I could defiantly walk through the school corridors, looking down at geeks and freaks, giving them a smile which said “you losers!”... That was until last Thursday morning, when the eye infection came back into my life... The ophthalmologist reckons my eyes are too sensitive to air conditioning – which is on in every single building – or Cairo’s polluted environment, where even breathing can be as deadly as standing behind a lorry’s exhaust pipe for a couple of hours. The consequence is that I am going to have to wear my glasses pretty much all the time from now on, as it seems to be the safest way for my eyes. I am ecstatic! Keeping in mind that my skin is still adapting to the weather and food – yes, you got it, I am spotty! – I definitely look like I am back to my teenage years: a squinting pizza face!

Yesterday, I went back to the barber’s. I must admit that I was a bit wary of the part which involves my nostrils being stretched to extraordinary dimensions... When I arrived, the barber was busy with a client, and a young apprentice – not sure whether he was actually an apprentice or just a random guy with scissors in his hands – offered to take care of me. I sat down and he trimmed my hair. I was actually quite pleased with the result, and as the ending of his deed was looming, I was wondering whether he’d go as far as his boss went last time... He suddenly took a pot from a drawer, and as I was about to tell him that I didn’t need gel, assuming that this was the substance in the pot, he grabbed a big dollop of what looked like mayonnaise and started to give me a head and neck massage! Oh my! That was so good! I felt so aroused, I could have snogged him right there and then! Well, ok, that’s really wrong of me, but I must admit that, after so much time without any human contact, I am starting to be hungry and I get attracted to anyone with two arms, two legs and enough testosterone to grow a beard – Ok, I realise that some women might match this definition, but I’m not that desperate!... Oh no, reading what I have just written about being hungry, I am scared: am I turning into an Egyptian?!...

And it feels like I'm seventeen again...

Partager cet article